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About Me Member Deviously Deviant jasminealexandraFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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DUH-PROOF CleaNinG AdVIce

Mon Jun 8, 2009, 5:20 AM
Something that I saw that seemed very useful at MSN… at this link [link]

So if you want to know some duh-proof cleaning advice I would follow these… I did put in the sarcasm in {"0_o"}…

Vegetable Oil
Original purpose: Frying up a tasty batter. {“Or for those women wrestling teams…or for that special guy that just got too weird for you…. ”}
Aha! Use: Shining leather shoes. Use a damp cloth to wipe away dirt, then apply a small drop of oil to a soft cloth and rub the surface to remove scuff marks.
Reward: A polished look from heel to toe. {“well now you don’t have to worry about getting oil on those thigh high black leather boots when you grind it to him… hooray for S&M!”}

Lemonade Kool-Aid
Original purpose: Quenching your thirst. {“Or making cheap popsicles in the freezer because mom is too cheap to let you buy anything from the ice cream van! Thanks mom! OH YEAAAH! ”}
Aha! Use: Cleaning lime deposits and iron stains inside the dishwasher. Pour a packet of lemonade Kool-Aid (the only flavor that works) into the detergent cup and run the (empty) dishwasher.
Reward: Citric acid in the mix wipes out stains; you don't have to. {“All this time, my mom has been shoving citric acid down my throat as a treat? Where is a child protective service when you need them?”}

Mesh Vegetable Bag
Original purpose: Toting home potatoes, onions, and tomatoes on the vine.
Aha! Use: Scrubbing up after dinner. Cut ends open, scrunch, and add soap and water.
Reward: After a gooey Mac-and-cheese cleanup, you can throw this freebie sponge away guilt-free. {“Until a little happy dolphin finds it in the ocean and chokes on it… you murderer!”}

Lint Roller
Original purpose: Restoring your black turtleneck to its fuzz-free glory.
Aha! Use: Dusting a lamp shade. Run the roller up and down the outside to get rid of small particles that shouldn't be there.
Reward: The satisfaction of knowing that every surface in your living room will pass the white-glove test. {“Sounds better than throwing it into the bath tub…”}

Lemon
Original purpose: Adding zing to soups or salad dressings. {“Or squirting it to the guy’s eyes, whose sitting right across from you on the table at the chow hall… boy, those things got to sting!”}
Aha! Use: Removing tough food stains from light wood and plastic cutting boards. Slice a lemon in half, squeeze onto the soiled surface, rub, and let sit for 20 minutes before rinsing.
Reward: A house that smells like a lemon grove rather than chemicals. {“But what would go into my ice tea?”}

Baking Soda as Silver-Polisher
Original purpose: Making cakes rise. {“Does anyone bake nowadays?”}
Aha! Use: Polishing silver. Wash items, and then place on aluminum foil in the bottom of a pot. Add a baking-soda solution (1/4 cup soda, a few teaspoons salt, 1 quart boiling water) to cover for a few seconds.
Reward: A chemical reaction that gets the black off the gravy boat. {“Wait… you can afford to eat with silver silverware but not enough to by silverware polish???? Where are your priorities?”}

Salt
Original purpose: Unlocking flavor in your favorite dishes. {“Also to pour some into open wounds…”}
Aha! Use: Cleaning up a spilled egg. Heap a handful of salt on the mess, leave for two minutes or so, and then wipe up.
Reward: The egg sticks to one paper towel instead of sliding off five or six. {“But that’s what dogs are for! Lick it up Sparky!”}

Coasters
Original purpose: Keeping wet glasses from making rings on Mom's mahogany coffee table. {“Or playing a game of indoor Frisbee fight, which results with something breaking… or until some loses an eye…”}
Aha! Use: Catching escaping drips of sticky stuff from bottles and jars in cupboards.
Reward: Shelves that don't require a full wipe-down after every spoonful of honey slather of jam, or glug of olive oil. {“Honestly my mom does do this! Amazing! They stole her idea… wait… are these people stalking my mom?”}

Cooking Oil
Original purpose: A hot bath for fried foods. {“Or using it for women’s wrestling but not S&M… I hear that cooking oil is not good for the leather straps… what??? Why the weird look? Everyone knows that!”}
Aha! Use: Removing adhesive from glasses. Apply cooking oil to the sticker using a paper towel or a soft cloth, rub firmly, and then rinse with warm, soapy water. (If the adhesive is stubborn, use a dab of toothpaste along with the oil.)
Reward: Goo Gone be gone—one less cleaning product to buy. {“Oil and glass…. Well with my coordination skills, I foresee many accidents… and buying more glasses…”}

Car Wax
Original purpose: Shining up the sedan. {“WAX ON- WAX OFF Daniel-san!”}
Aha! Use: Polishing faucets, sinks, tile, even shower doors. Turtle Wax leaves behind a protective barrier against water and soap buildup, so your hard-earned sparkle will last past the next tooth-brushing.
Reward: A gleaming bathroom all week long.
{“WHOA-WHOA-WHOA THERE! OK, am I the only one that does not foresee a major problem with that advice? You put car wax in the bath room and you will end up like that lady from the LIFE-ALERT commercial… “help I can’t get up!” and when you go to the hospital with a concussion, and tell the doctor that you put car wax in the shower… well, he might think you already had brain damage to begin with there, geniuses!”}

Newspaper as Food-Container Deodorizer
Original purpose: Daily source for information. {“Or as we see nowadays, with the internet news… it’s a daily source for coupons…”}
Aha! Use: Food-container deodorizer. Stuff a balled-up piece of newspaper into a plastic container, seal it, and let sit overnight. By morning the paper will have absorbed food smells.
Reward: That lingering curry scent is yesterday's news. {“oh yeah.. I’m going to put a dirty news paper where I eat… what do they think I’m keeping in there? Crawdads?”}

{“well that was my bit of advice and opinion and what I just read… feel free to input more info and watch as I pick on you mercilessly till you cry and I taste your tears of shame! Mwahahahahaha!”}


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Clubs I'm in:
:iconzagrclub:
:iconpretty-and-dangerous::iconalt-iz-lurve::iconmonstersandmaidens::iconclub-gaz::iconhumanxanthro-romance::iconwolf-fans-club:

  • Mood: Daily Needs
  • Listening to: My new iPod!!!
  • Reading: WebComics
  • Watching: DuSt BunNies BreEd...
  • Playing: in the SandBox
  • Eating: Pizza
  • Drinking: KoOl-AiD...OH YEAAAAH!

deviantID

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst...a spark that creates extraordinary results.
---"I got this off a poster..."

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Hollywierd, California
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: size 5 or 7 in jeans (maybe 8... depends on the brand) and medium hoodies
  • Interests: art, cartoons, comics, running, traveling, anime, manga, Japanese art, museums, movies, science,
  • Favourite movie: Ghost in the Shell, Nightmare Before Christmas, Ghigli, Guillermo del Toro
  • Favourite band or musician: movie soundtracks, hard rock, death metal, gothic, alternative, emo, opera, dance, musical
  • Favourite genre of music: movie soundtracks, hard rock, death metal, gothic, alternative, emo, opera, dance, musical
  • Favourite artist: all of the Ghigli artist, JV, heart shape skull, Adam Warren, ect.
  • Favourite poet or writer: jv, shakespear, bible (old text), Tolkien, Edgar Allan Poe, David Eddings, etc.
  • Favourite photographer: Time life, National Geographic, etc.
  • Favourite style of art: Depends...
  • Operating System: Adobe and Corel
  • MP3 player of choice: CD! I have an iPod but no idea how it works!
  • Shell of choice: my own shell
  • Wallpaper of choice: whatever takes the least memory space
  • Skin of choice: my own.
  • Favourite game: mind games
  • Favourite gaming platform: In the Dark
  • Favourite cartoon character: zim, gaz, gir, dib, tak, more to come
  • Personal Quote: attitude is a catalyst of the events that take place in your life.
  • Tools of the Trade: My mind and my wits.

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Comments


i luv ur zagr but more would be better :D

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F**** MY LIFE :( ..... I HATE IT :(.........................................BUT WHY SHOULD U CARE :shrug: :(
there needs to be more twisted cupid!

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We're all mad here!
your only fat if you weigh over 300lb
what fools these mortals be!
...that's like saying he-man is straight
you like her really???? wow!!!! i am sooo happy!

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It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.---(Sam Levenson)
i LUV her, her misadventures are sooo funny!

--
We're all mad here!
your only fat if you weigh over 300lb
what fools these mortals be!
...that's like saying he-man is straight
^^; i saw you on Fanfiction.net (i'm m0nster)and yay! I found you on dA! :)

--

This is my melody
And it's just a
ravers fantasy
But I know
If you're in love with me tonight
Ravin though the night


- Tune Up!

I believe in Jesus Christ as my personal Savior

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